


Achievement Unlocked: Collectibles

by missingnolovefic



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Animal Hybrids, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fake AH Crew, Fluff, Gen, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Psychological Torture, selective mutism, the fluffiest of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 14:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 17,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10024433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missingnolovefic/pseuds/missingnolovefic
Summary: Prompt fills, drabbles and shorter ficlets from my tumblr, so I have everything I've written in one place.Just in case.





	1. Mica's Origin

Mica’s father owns an autoshop. She always loved to go tinker with cars, finding out what makes them tick, what makes them hum beneath her fingers. She knows them in and out, knows what can go wrong, knows how to pick them up from a sidestreet unseen.

She loves the road. When it’s empty and she can race between the desert hills as fast as the car goes, the wind in her hair and sound passing her by too quickly to be heard. She learned driving before she hit 13, owned her own car by 15.

It was depilated and old but it drove like a dream and she loved it. She repaired it herself, saved up months for a paintjob. It was ugly and beautiful and it was _hers_.

She took it to her first race when she was 16. She didn’t place, but she didn’t do too shabby either. Racing gives her a huge rush, though, and by 18 she is rocking the street races, one of the crowd favourites. This is where she catches Ramsey’s eye.

Growing up in Los Santos, Mica knows her way around guns, is not half bad with a sniper, but it’s self-defense first and foremost. Her true love lies in cars and in racing, and as she drives Mogar of the street, as she sprunks Vagabond out of first place, as she loses Pattillo the bet, she is more alive than ever. She never notices the thoughtful eyes following her as she drives off.

The Golden Boy pays her a visit the next day, at her father’s shop, and Mica would be stupid not to recognize him. Everyone knows the Fakes’ frontman.

Her fingers are dark with oil, her clothes old and washed out. He’s decked in gold jewelry and designer clothes, and he looks at her over golden sunglasses. Judging her, she thinks, wiping her fingers off on a cleaning cloth.

“Can I help you?” she asks, her eyes narrowed, her voice tight.

“You might, luv,” Free says with a smarmy smile, holding out his hand for a handshake. Mica raises an eyebrow, amused. With a glance at her dirty hands, he grimaces and drops his hand. “Micachu, I assume?”

“Where’d you hear that name?” she asks sharply, head snapping up. She tenses, because she made sure to cover her tracks well. At least she thought she had.

Free shrugs.

“Saw you at the race last night,” he offers off-handedly. “Did a bang up job out there.”

“Thanks,” Mica replies hesitantly, eyeing him carefully, “I guess.”

Free smiles, and it seems more genuine now.

“You’e got talent. Tell me, Micachu, are your mechanic skills up to par with your racing?”

And that’s how she ends up with the Fakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/151948077017/fahcmica-headcanon-time-micas-father-owns-an)


	2. Freewood - Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Got inspired by shadeofazmeinya doing some badass!Gavin prompt fills :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blood tw and implied torture

The Golden Boy with the Vagabond is a scary combo for interrogations.  
  
Vagabond is self-explanatory, really, he’s already got the reputation. Free, though? He comes as a surprise. He seems innocuous at first, almost naive. Asking Vagabond innocent questions, and it’s a wonder the mercenary hasn’t gotten rid of him yet. Instead he indulges his curiosities.  
  
After a while, though, a pattern emerges.  
  
“How much blood is there in a human, do you think?” Free asks, and the mercenary hums thoughtfully.  
  
“About 1.2 to 1.5 gallons, on average,” he answers lightly, and golden sunglasses turn to him with a look of open confusion. With a sigh, Vagabond amends. “4.5 to 5.5 liters.”  
  
“Huh,” the Golden Boy cocks his head, finally turning to their ignored victim. “How much can you lose before you die?”  
  
“Hm. About 40%, I think,” the mercenary steps forward, his words playful, the knife with which he tilts his target’s head up a lot more menacing. “Should come to about four pints, I reckon.”  
  
There’s a pause, Vagabond slowly circling his victim while Free frowns.  
  
“Wait,” he says, and the interrogee sighs in relief. “Is that a probability question? Because-”  
  
“We are not talking about coins again,” Vagabond interrupts harshly, something dark in his voice. His knife is caressing down the cheek, over the jawline and to the throat. He looms above their informant, threat in every movement. “This has nothing to do with coins.”  
  
“But!” Free protests, spreading his hands. “How can we be sure it’s four bloody pints?”  
  
Vagabond pauses, knife stilling pointed at the major artery. He looks up at Free, tilting his head in contemplation. Finally he draws back, and their victim exhales shakily as the knife is removed from his skin.  
  
“You’re right,” the mercenary muses, and he sounds reasonable for once. “We really need to prove it. For science.”  
  
“A proper experiment,” Free agrees with a smirk, golden sunglasses glinting in the dim warehouse light.  
  
“Wait-” the informant coughs, but is ignored once more.  
  
“We need a bigger sample group, though,” Vagabond points out amiably, and the victim chokes.  
  
“Well, too bad,” Free simpers, dragging a second chair in front of their audience, straddling it backwards and propping his crossed arms on the backrest. “Guess he’ll have to do, since he swore up and down he wouldn’t rat out his friends. Wanna do the honors, luv?”  
  
“With pleasure,” Vagabond purrs, and the knife is back at his throat.  
  
“No, wait, wait!” he shouts, and his pants darken as the stench hits the air. Free wrinkles his nose, but holds up a hand to stop the mercenary. “I- I’ll give you their names, just let me go, please!”  
  
Free harrumphs, propping his head on his hand. “Not much one to keep promises are you? Fine. Gimme enough names and we’ll see.”  
  
The sad thing is, this almost always works. And it would be boring, too, if Gavin wouldn’t come up with a different script each time, forcing Ryan to improvise on the spot.  
  
“Not quite four pints,” Gavin says mournfully, as he carefully sidesteps the blood puddle leaking onto the floor. Ryan snorts, wiping the blood off his jacket and gloves.  
  
“He’s not quite dead, either,” he points out, “just unconscious.”  
  
Gavin scoffs, reaching up to carefully take off his mask. Piercing blue eyes follow the motion, but Ryan doesn’t stop him. Gavin leans in, pressing his lips to Ryan’s in a slow, sensual kiss.  
  
“Guess we have to test that hypothesis again,” he breathes into Ryan’s mouth, before Ryan silences him with his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/152265013846/the-golden-boy-with-the-vagabond-is-a-scary-combo)


	3. Five Sentences Misc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fic Meme: Leave the first sentence of a fic in my askbox and I will write the next five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon-Typical Violence

**[skydiver-tomyo](http://skydiver-tomyo.tumblr.com/) asked: Michael decided to dig a little sandpit, because he knows Gavin will fall into it. Hell, it's not even that deep and Gavin could easily climb out. Except that when he does fall he somehow fucking drags Michael down with him. The fucker laughs, pressed beneath Michael. And then, they can't even fucking get out!**

“This is all your fault,” Michael grumbled, fingers tightening around Gavin’s ankles.

“My fault!” Gavin protested, swaying where he was standing on Michael’s shoulders. He looked down at his friend, making a low hissing noise. “You were the one to dig the pit! Could at least have let a ladder, bloody hell.”

“That’s not how pranks work, asshole!” Michael objected, grunting as he tried to recover his balance. “It’s not supposed to be easy to get out!”

“Well, we’re not getting out if you keep- MICOO!” Gavin shouted, flailing his arms wildly as Michael took a step to the side, and they both crashed down.

 

* * *

 

 

**[skydiver-tomyo](http://skydiver-tomyo.tumblr.com/) asked: As much as he wanted this to go right, it really didn't. At this point, he wasn't even surprised, it was such a regular thing at this point and everyone sort of assumed that this was how it would go. But hey, at least Gavin had Ryan there. Even as the world burned, magnificently colored in the sunset and the blaring lighst of cops chasing them.**

Gavin leaned out of the window, tongue sticking out as he took aim. _Boom!_ one of the police cars exploded, the ones behind it trying to veer to the side, starting a pile up of epic proportions. Gavin whooped excitedly, restocking the rocket launcher as Ryan used the handbrake for a tight turn, and then they were going down the highway on the other side, in the other direction.

Geoff was yelling over comms. Ryan cackled, and Gavin shot him a grin.

“Te _eeea_ m Love’n’Stuff!” he yelled excitedly, and clapped Ryan’s hand in a high five.

 

* * *

 

 

**[kayssna](http://kayssna-deactivated20161204.tumblr.com/) asked: Jeremy was pretty much fucked from the start.**

_Jeremy was pretty much fucked from the start_.

The moment Gavin turned to him, cocked his head and smirked, he was done for.

“C’mon, Lil’ J,” he’d sing-song, an amused spark in his eyes, “it’ll be fun, I promise.”

And he’d follow like a lovesick puppy. He didn’t even mind (much) the teasing he had to endure from the rest of the crew.

It was all worth it for the feeling of soft, blond hair tickling his jaw, a big nose jammed against his neck as Gavin took a deep breath and hummed contently, safely asleep in Jeremy’s arms.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Anonymous** (AKA sky) **asked: Okay so this is how it goes. Gavin is a stupid little shit, but somehow he always makes everything work. Michael loves his boi and he knows, just knows that if Gavin asked him to, he could blow the pentagon up. Ryan is really tired at this point, but his boys always gets into throuble and he's left to clean up. He always does though and at the end of the day, Ryan wouldn't have it any other way.**

There was a plan, at some point. At least, Ryan assumed there was, because otherwise he might be forced to kill the lads. It would be bloody, for sure.

The motherfucking pentagon. Like Fort Zancudo hadn’t been bad enough- Geoff would have a stroke when he heard.

Ryan just sighed and packed his rocket launcher. Sometimes the lads were more trouble than they were worth.

 

* * *

 

 

**[skydiver-tomyo](http://skydiver-tomyo.tumblr.com/) asked: Ryan was pretty sure that, despite being crazy, the rest of the gang was crazier**

Michael, for one, has no sense of self-preservation. There is an unholy glee in his eyes as he sets things on fire, sticks a gas truck full with C4 and jumps out mid-drive just before it explodes.

“I like to feel the warmth on my skin,” he explains with a shrug, and that’s that.

Ryan can’t keep his eyes off him, and with a sinking feeling he realizes. This is what love must feel like.

 

* * *

 

 

**[wash-your-sinful-hands](https://wash-your-sinful-hands.tumblr.com/) asked: Face twisted into an ugly grimace, Ryan delivered his words through gritted teeth. 'Long live the King'**

And with that, he thrust the knife through the Queen’s ribs, straight into her heart. She gasped, spasming, hands grabbing onto Ryan’s. He looked at his mother, something desperate in his chest, and his fingers tremble.

She looked at him, and smiled, blood running down her chin.

“I’ve taught you well,” she murmured with her last breath.

 


	4. Raywood - Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the Vagabond's New Facepaint

 

  * “I thought it was time for a new pattern” he says
  * Ramsey hires him for a job and it goes well enough, so he agrees to another a week later- but that’s it, he’s going to draw the line at three. Maybe four.
  * they never get to see his face, but when he pulls the mask off the first time, he relishes their anticipation turning into surprise before landing on exasperation or resignation
  * Ray looks up from his 3DS and gives him a thumbs up and his chest feels warm
  * he gets so used to walking around without his mask he can’t quite recall the first time he forgot to paint his face
  * (he still remembers the time Ray wouldn’t stop staring at him, soaking him in with all barriers down, taking in the real _him_ )
  * it starts as a joke, but somehow Ray start drawing the pattern for him before heists. He gets good at it too, and Ryan enjoys his careful fingers turning his head this way and that, the way Ray’s tongue would peek out between his lips in concentration
  * (he still dreams about that mouth, hot and wet and gasping for breath)
  * And then Ray is gone.
  * (recalls perfectly the light touch of his fingers dancing along his jawline, down his throat, a hand cupping his face, _their last kiss_ )
  * Ray is **gone**.
  * he stands in front of the mirror, his hands are shaking, large splashes of red over his cheeks, the white paint mixed to grey with the black
  * “I can’t do this” he whispers and his mirror image stares back blankly. There are tear tracks clearing away the paint.
  * Ray is gone _gone **gone**_.
  * he washes off the rest of the paint and burries himself in his room and doesn’t come out until the last minute, mask firmly on and only splashes of black surrounding his eyes
  * the pattern is wrong because the pattern is before ray is ray is gone.
  * “I can’t” he tells Jack as she finds him in the bathroom, paint all over the sink and tears running down his cheeks “it’s wrong” he tries to explain and she simply nods and takes him by the shoulders and cleans his face
  * the next day she gathers the crew and they start talking new patterns. Gavin is vibrating in his seat and sprouting crazy ideas and Ryan feels his lips quirk up
  * “I felt like it was time for a change” he says when Geoff looks at him after, a new, darker skull pattern gracing his face
  * there are a lot things he doesn’t say
  * like changing your haircut after a bad break up
  * like changing yourself to fill the void they leave behind
  * Ray is gone.
  * Ryan lives on.



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/140769495257/regarding-the-vagabonds-new-facepaint)


	5. Jackeoff - Car Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trixielestrange asked: Any FAHC ship trying to have a nice V-day but keeps getting in trouble and maybe a cop chase.

“This is all your fault,” Geoff screeches as he pulls his head back into the car, fingers quick and sure as he changed the magazine.

“ _My_ fault?” Jack yelled back as she yanked the wheel around, car sliding sideways through the turn before straightening out. “How is this _my fault_?”

“You chose that damn restaurant!” Geoff snapped, taking potshots at the cops following behind. One careened when he hit the windshield, crashing into another cop car behind it. “Take that, you pig!”

“You’re the one who got in a fight with the manager!” Jack objected, pushing down on the gas as they drove under an overpass. “You threatened him with a gun!”

“He fucking insulted you!” Geoff protested, pulling the window up as they slowed down, turning into a parking garage. “No one gets to insult you but me!”

“Awww, Geoff,” Jack simpered, shooting him a wild grin. “I didn’t know you cared.”

“Oh, shut it,” Geoff grumbled, tossing the assault rifle back into the foot room. He grimaced, reaching out to squeeze her knee. “Sorry for ruining our Valentine’s date.”

“Ah, well. Wouldn’t be a date without a good car chase, would it?” Jack shrugged, turning to grin. She parked deep inside the garage, close to the exit door in case they had to make a quick getaway.

“So,” Geoff said with a grin, leaning over into her space. “How about some car sex while we wait?”

Jack snorted, pushing him back. “If you’re willing to give me roadhead when the cops inevitable follow your screams.”

“What screams,” Geoff yelped, affronted. “I don’t scream!”

“Yeah, you’re kinda loud during sex,” Jack teased, shoving his shoulder. “Suck it up, boss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/157251479887/any-fahc-ship-trying-to-have-a-nice-v-day-but)


	6. Jeremwood - Candlelight Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: All I got for a fluff prompt is jeremwood oops. I understand if that's not enough for you to go off of, I just cannot decide what Jeremy and Ryan should be doing >.~

Jeremy froze in the doorway.

His clothes were muddy, his purple jeans ripped at the knee. There was still some blood splatters here and there, and his knuckles were bruised. His hair plastered sweatily to his forehead, and his body was aching, but all of this was secondary as he took in the scene in front of him.

There was a row of red rose petals strewn across his floor, leading from the entryway into the kitchen/living area. Of his secure, secret appartment that no one but the crew knew about. Even Matt had yet to visit. Jeremy dropped the purple jacket to the floor and kicked his combat boots off, then followed the trail carefully, the hand with the knife hidden behind his back.

He stopped halfway in the kitchen, halfway still in the hallway and sighed, sheathing the knife.

“What are you doing?” Jeremy asked, baffled.

Ryan turned around with a grin, black apron with a skull motif (”pick your poison!”) dusted liberally in… flour? He was holding a pan between blue checkered oven mitts. Jeremy let his gaze wandered to the table, decked out in red roses and a candelabra- he didn’t even own a candelabra.

“What the fuck.”

“It’s called dinner,” Ryan explained patiently, setting down the pan on the kitchen counter. “Go clean up, dear, so we can eat.”

“I repeat: what the fuck,” Jeremy said, eyes wide. Ryan pouted at him, and Christ, he’d never actually seen him without the facepaint. He cleaned up pretty nice, now that he thought about it.

“It’s a Valentine’s dinner,” Ryan pointed out.

“I got that part,” Jeremy replied drily, giving Ryan a wry look. Ryan huffed.

“Well, then, go clean up so we can get back to dinner and move onto the part where I seduce you.”

“Oh, is that what you’re angling for?” Jeremy asked lightly, grin widening. He looked the candlelight dinner over again. “Pulling out all the registers, aren’t you?”

“Only the best for you, dear,” Ryan answered smugly, pulling off the mitts and making a shooing motion. “Go on, before the food goes cold.”

“Sure,” Jeremy said, shaking his head. “Why the fuck not.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ryan grinned at him, and Jeremy just shook his head again, turning his back on the infamous killer to shower and change.

Who woulda thought the Vagabond was a cliché romantic?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/157250413377/all-i-got-for-a-fluff-prompt-is-jeremwood-oops-i)


	7. Jackael - Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shadeofazmeinya asked: fluff prompt: ah ship of your choice. Taking a long car ride out of the city, pulling over on the side of the road, laying out on the hood of the car to stargaze, soft love confessions

“Wooohoo!” Jack shouts, the wind in her hair as she comes up beside the black and green car. “Suck a dick, motherfucker!”

Instantly, Michael yells back, honking wildly. She can barely catch his words among the wind and the sound of _Ride of the Valkyrie_ , but she just grins and throws him a wink, before stepping on the gas.

The race ends in a small, wooded cliff, from which they can barely make out the sea through the brushes. They’re both flushed with excitement, hair tussled from the wind as they slide their cars sideways to park near perfectly before the picnic table.

“I won!” Jack exclaimed, fist pumping the air. “Pay up, or your ass is mine!”

“It was a fucking tie,” Michael protested, loud and wild and laughing as he stumbled out of his car and into her arms. They stare at each other, grinning widely. Michael lifts a hand, brushing short red hair back behind her ear.

“Nope, I won and I want my prize,” Jack insisted, leaning in with a smile.

“Well, if you’re _sure_ ,” Michael drawled, bumping their noses together. Jack laughed.

“I’m sure,” she murmured as she captured his mouth in a slow, passionate kiss. They broke apart ages later, flushed with a different kind of excitement.

“You get the food, I get the blankets?” Michael suggested, and Jack squeezed his ass through his jeans.

“Sure,” she mumbled against his mouth, dragging her tongue over his lower lip. Her eyes were glinting mischievously. “First one to the table gets a blowjob.”

She pulled back and darted off, leaving Michael standing slightly dazed, before her words sunk in.

“Fuck!” he shouted as he run off to his own car. “Fucking cheater!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/157246101317/fluff-prompt-ah-ship-of-your-choice-taking-a)


	8. Jeremy & Crew - Selective Mutism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: if youre taking fic requests, can i have something with selectively mute jeremy due to trauma. like the guys tell him to shut up a lot and they dont know abt this so jeremy like doesnt talk for days cause inferiority and basically hurt/comfort ensues. totally not projecting insecurities or anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all *hugs anon*. Second, I’m not doing too well myself so this is rather short. I’m not very well-versed in SM outside the autistic spectrum, so I extrapolated from anxiety and trauma.
> 
> hurt/comfort

“Everyone shut the fuck up!” Geoff yelled against the chaotic chatter over the coms, and Jeremy froze, feeling his jaws snapping shut. It took a little for the noise to die down “Alright. On my mark, set- go!”

“Let’s heist!” Ray sing-songed from where he was laying down cover fire. The plan worked out smoothly for once, and Jeremy rapidly took down the two guards on the backdoor and secured their escape route, taking his lookout post on the corner of the backdoor and the main entrance. Michael had just breached the safe, grabbing as much cash as they could with Ryan, Jack and Geoff when Gavin cursed.

“Oh shit!” Jeremy peeked around the corner, to see Gavin in a firefight with an off-duty officer through the big windows. He also saw the hostage sneaking up to the dead guard and pulling his gun. He opened his mouth to warn Gavin and-

No sound came out. He choked, wide-eyed. His fingers trembled around his gun. But… there was no time. He took a deep breath and fired. The first bullet hit the glass, the second shattered it. The third hit the hostage in the shoulder, causing them to drop the gun with a cry. Gavin flinched, looking back over his shoulder as he hunkered behind cover.

“Oh. Cheers, Ray,” he said, and Jeremy bit his lip.

“What?” Ray asked, sounding distracted. “Guys, the cops are coming, we should hurry this up.”

“Right,” Geoff replied, all business-like. “We’ve got most of the money, let’s cut and run. Jeremy, is the backdoor free?”

Jeremy choked, his hands starting to shake. He couldn’t speak. He needed to speak. The trembling increased. He put his gun down, afraid of causing an accident and dropped down against the wall behind the flower pots.

“Jeremy?” Geoff repeated sharply. “Ray, can you-”

“Already on it, boss,” Ray said. Then, “The guards are down, but I can’t see Jeremy anywhere.”

“Shit,” Geoff swore, and then the backdoor banged open. Michael tore through, Jack quick on his heels. They threw their bags full of cash into the waiting van. “Little J, do you copy? Jeremy, I swear if you don’t-”

Shivering, Jeremy shoved the gun into its holster, scrambling up with the help of the wall. Geoff stomped out of the door and straight to the car, but Ryan glanced around, his eyes falling on Jeremy.

“I see him,” he reported curtly, marching towards Jeremy. He met him halfway. “We’re almost at the car.”

“Gav, Ray, get out of here,” Geoff ordered, just as Ryan shoved Jeremy onto the backseat next to him. Geoff ignored him. “Meet us at the safehouse in an hour.”

“Got it,” Gavin replied clippedly, and then Ryan was with them on the backseat, Michael in front, the doors slammed shut, and they were off.

Jeremy didn’t dare look at any of them, sandwiched between Ryan and his boss.

“What the fuck was that, Jeremy?” Geoff exploded, jabbing a finger at him. “Did your com blow out? I can see it so you can’t have lost it.”

Jeremy just shook his head, feeling nauseous. Geoff’s eyes narrowed.

“What, nothing to say for yourself?” he snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at him. Jeremy shrunk back, but there was nowhere to go. He opened his mouth and shut it again, squeezing his eyes shut as he ducked his head.

“Geoff,” Ryan interrupted, and then an arm settled around his shoulders, tugging him into the other man. “Geoff, calm down. He can tell us what happened later. Give him some space.”

“And what, he can’t talk know?” Michael mocked, trying to make the situation lighter with a joke. Jeremy flinched. Jack shot him a concerned look over the rearview.

“Apparently,” Ryan replied brusquely, rubbing his palm down Jeremy’s arm. “And you fuckers will respect that because not everything is that simple. He’ll talk when he’s ready.”

There was a moment of silence before Geoff sighed, relaxing back into his seat.

“Alright, fine,” he grumbled, but he ruffled Jeremy’s hair. “Didn’t mean to yell at you, buddy.”

“Sorry, Jeremy,” Michael offered, trying to catch his eyes in the rearview. Jeremy gave them a shy smile.

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay, Lil J,” Gavin piped up, louder than necessary as he shouted against the wind. He was riding bitch on Ray’s bike. “Was that you that shot the hostage? Ray says it wasn’t him.”

Jeremy ducked his head, blushing.

“It was,” Ryan confirmed, watching him warmly.

“Thanks, J,” Gavin chirped, and Jeremy leaned into Ryan. The tight feeling in his chest was starting to dissipate, replaced by something fuzzy and soft. He couldn’t speak quite yet, but he didn’t feel the pressure to anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/157624723527/if-youre-taking-fic-requests-can-i-have-something)


	9. Golden Boy

They always underestimate the Golden Boy.

They know to be scared of Ramsey by now, the scrupulous kingpin clawing his way to the top and fending off any attempts to make him falter. After all, it is easy to fear the master.

They know to be afraid of his attack dogs. The flashing teeth and wild looks in their eyes speak to a primal survival instinct, a visceral reaction to death they know is coming. They duck away from Mogar’s fiery temper, the explosions of fists and blood that follow. They quiver before Vagabond’s cold calculation, death in his every breath and in the silence that remains unbroken.

In comparison, the Golden Boy is nothing.

Sure, he is flashy. Smiles and golden jewelry that give him his name, but he’s nothing _special_. He runs with the worst of Los Santos’ criminals because Ramsey indulges his whims, finds amusement in his antics. He is a spark, a momentary distraction, doomed to die after too short a life. The Golden Boy might be able to talk himself out of trouble, his silver tongue as well known as his flashy charm, but that too will fail him in the end.

No, they don’t cower before the Golden Boy.

And Gavin let’s them, for a good reason. How else would he be able to wrap them around his fingers with a careful, honeyed word? He doesn’t need them to run from him, not with Michael and Ryan backing him up. He is painfully aware of his own power within the city, and while others might call it arrogance, that too serves to establish his image. Even Geoff eyes him warily, if fondly, because he can see what many others fail to acknowledge.

They run scared of the dogs biting at their heels, but never stop to question who holds their leash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/154044750947/they-always-underestimate-the-golden-boy-they)


	10. Freewood - Rose Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for this [rosegold!Gavin art](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/153790210327/skydiver-tomyo-5-6-days-of-work-and-miss-ingno) by the talented Sky.

“There you are, luv,” Gavin greets him softly, leaning on his bike as he gives him a coy look over his shoulder. Ryan parks his bike behind gavin’s, the chrome skeleton gleaming a light pink where the light hits it. “I was worried for a second.”

“Don’t be,” Ryan assures him, stepping up. He nudges Gavin’s feet apart and steps between his legs as he spreads them. “You know I can take care of myself.”

“Maybe,” Gavin says, fluttering his lashes. He reaches up with one perfectly manicured hand, nails shining a beautiful rosegold. His rings catch the light, drawing Ryan’s gaze to them for a split second before Gavin’s palm settles gently against his cheek. “Doesn’t mean I don’t worry, luv.”

“Sorry,” Ryan murmurs, turning his head to kiss his palm, his hands resting on the bike on either side of Gavin. “I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

“I know you will,” Gavin replies, thumb lingering over Ryan’s lips, eyes sharpening while he smiles softly. Ryan glances up at him, stilling under his gaze. He knows that look. Slowly he opens his mouth, sucking on the tip of Gavin’s thumb carefully. Gavin hums contently, eyes half-lidded. “You always do.”


	11. Mavinseg - Team Losers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [fahchaus](http://fahchaus.tumblr.com) was talking about Team Losers so...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon-Typical Violence

“I’m afraid this negotiation is going nowhere, Mr. Dunn,” the Golden Boy says, pouting. He turns to his companion, the woman waiting silently a couple paces behind him. “I’m sorry, luv, I don’t think I can get you what you wanted.”

The woman looks up from where she’s been inspecting her nails and tilts her head, girly pink and blonde hair falling in her face, hiding her expression. The hired muscle shift, but Dunn stands his ground, unimpressed. He’s heard of the Fakes - they all have - but this meeting with their representatives has been vastly disappointing. Apparently, they didn’t even rate sending the Vagabond as backup. Their loss.

“Well,” the woman finally speaks up, voice high and playful. “I doubt they’re worth it, but we can’t leave loose ends now, can we?” She waves a manicured hand limply. “Go get rid of them for me.”

“But luv,” the Golden Boy whines in dismay, his pout getting more pronounced, and Dunn grimaces, “You know I don’t like getting my hands dirty.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” the woman says, sounding genuinely sympathetic. She steps forward, cupping Free’s cheek gently. “Next time I’ll bring Dollface instead, deal?”

“No,” Free replies sharply, standing straighter. “You won’t.”

The woman grins fiercely. “No, I won’t,” she agrees. Dunn rolls his eyes. He doesn’t see the bullet coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/153771202192/fahchaus-did-someone-say-team-losers-im)


	12. Freewood - Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shadeofazmeinya asked: ask for freewood and you shall receive. imagine a scene: Some negotiation gone wrong. Ryan was with Gavin as backup but it became pretty obvious as the arrived that it was a trap. They get out but barely. Ryan's hurt, gunshot wound in his arm. Gavin's knocked out. Ryan's desperately trying to drive them away, Gavin laid across the back seat. Ryan keeps glancing in the rearview mirror to makes sure Gavin is still there, still moving even as slightly as he is. Ryan may or may not be crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> injured!Gavin

It’s not the first time it happened. It will not be the last.

Still, Ryan can’t help taking his eyes off the road, glancing into the mirror to check on Gavin. See his chest rising, listen for the sharp, pained intake of breath. His hands clench around the steering wheel, and he exhales slowly, forcing himself to take the turn properly and with care.

It wouldn’t do to jostle Gavin.

Caleb is waiting for them when he pulls into the garage, a gurney ready to go. He steps between the man and the door, glaring him down, before turning and carefully helping Gavin out of the backseat himself. The blond is barely conscious, clinging to Ryan’s jacket as he helps him onto the stretcher. Caleb is already taking his pulse, lips pressed into a tight line.

Ryan follows them inside.

He ignores the subtle jabs and hints to leave, settles in a corner to watch. He doesn’t move until Jack carefully shakes him by the shoulder, turns to look at her and Geoff. He didn’t notice them enter the room. Didn’t quite catch Caleb finishing. He peels off the wall, looks down at himself with a grimace. His leather jacket and gloves are creaky and smeared with dried blood.

On the bed, Gavin breathes easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/153744269062/ask-for-freewood-and-you-shall-receive-imagine-a)


	13. Lazer Team - Adam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fangirlsanity asked: So I've had this in my head for a while, but after the events of Wardrobe Malfunction do you think the team would try to make sure Adam survives the final battle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Adam absolutely survives in [Wardrobe](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8193700), no question!

They’re a team already, used to each other and to the suit, they know how to fight. The military’s initial reaction is worse (because none of them are good liars, and they shot down the spaceship very, very intentionally. To steal their respective pieces of the armour. The military does not deal well with this fact.) and that’s not something they anticipated.

It’s how it finally hits home that this is a different timeline, that things are different - they will not play out the same.

They fight off the aliens easily, with all the training and practice they’ve had, even if they’ve grown a little rusty in between. But they’re on the run from the military immediately, and this time they can’t get caught. Mindy never gets possessed since she’s in on it from the start (but they have a different close call, and that brings home how dangerous this is. It’s not a game, they didn’t just respawn.)

It’s been their intention from the start to save Adam.

Even if he’s not their Adam anymore, even though he doesn’t come through for them since their interactions up to this point are entirely different, he still shows up to fight the Worg. And they feel guilty about him dying the first time, especially Hagan, so of course they save him (and maybe that’s the point where he starts seeing them as humans instead of thieves).

Things get better.

 

* * *

 

But when I read this ask, a little voice whispered in my ear, _what if._

What if they don’t save Adam.

They forget, they are careless, their timing is off, things have changed too much. It doesn’t really matter, the end result is the same. Adam, lifeless, never really their friend, never allowed a chance to be. A hero, a martyr, a man the world will forget in their wake.

It’s worst for Hagan, but they all grieve. Why have a second chance if you don’t use it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/151666968002/so-ive-had-this-in-my-head-for-a-while-but-after)


	14. Turnfreewood - Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potential sequel to the unposted fahc fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For kayssna, the loveliest of lovely. I couldn’t hope for a better crime wife <3

“I wanna seduce a rich asshole,” Meg declares, legs kicking idly in the air from where she is lying upside down on the couch. Gavin hums, not looking up from his phone. There’s the sound of a door slamming shut, and then two heavy thuds before quiet descends once more – not a total silence, what with the background noise of Los Santos’ daily chaos happening outside.

“And I’ve been itching to try out my new sniper rifle, so I’m gonna give you cover fire from the roof,” she adds thoughtfully, tucking a strand of purple hair behind her ear.

Ryan sticks his head through the door, hair mussed and facepaint smeared as he cocks an eyebrow at the two of them. Meg turns to look at him with a mock innocent expression on her face. Gavin blows a bubble with his gum, busily typing away on his phone.

“What are you up to that requires cover fire?” Ryan queries, as he steps into the living room. He drops his mask on the table and shrugs out of his jacket, throwing it over the back of a chair. He ruffles Gavin’s hair as he passes, much to the other’s squawking outrage. Ryan chuckles and drops down on the couch next to Meg.

“Nothing yet,” she replies, lips quirking up, “but I might need to after I seduce the rich asshole.”

“Which rich asshole are you seducing?” Ryan asks exasperated, “And why?”

“Dunno,” Meg shrugs, and nearly slips off the sofa. With a curse, she flips around, putting her head into Ryan’s lap. He buries his fingers immediately in her soft curls, and she gives him a double thumbs up. “I just want to seduce one.”

“Alright,” Ryan humors her, carding through her purple locks and scratching lightly at her scalp. He looks up to Gavin, quirking a brow at the other man. “And what are you doing in this scenario?”

“Gonna have to cause a stink, now, won’t I?” the blond muses, still not looking up from his phone. “Can’t have Turney actually sleeping with anyone. I could pull the drunk boyfriend, whaddaya think?”

“More like the drunk idiot,” Ryan snarks, grinning teasingly. “No one would believe you’re her boyfriend when she’s in a classy get-up.”

“Oy!” Gavin drops his phone, frowning up at Ryan, offended. “I can do classy, too!”

“Classy, is that what they’re calling tacky now?” Meg giggles, shifting to sit up and pats the seat next to her. With a huff, Gavin plops down, arms crossed and sulking. Ryan stretches an arm over her shoulders, hand landing on Gavin’s neck and squeezing reassuringly.

“If you don’t stop being mingy pricks, I’m gonna drop a glass of red wine on your dress,” Gavin threatens, but leans into the touch, head flopping down to rest on Meg’s shoulder. She pats his leg soothingly.

“Not if you want to get out of there alive,” she warns him fondly, and next to her Ryan chortles.

“You still didn’t say what we’re planning here,” he steers them back to their original topic. “Why are you seducing Rich Asshole TM?”

Meg shrugs, careful not to dislodge his arm.

“I just feel like it,” she explains, letting her head drop down on Gavin’s. “We can come up with a reason later.”

“If I spill red wine all over you,” Gavin starts, flapping a hand to hush her when she opens her mouth in protest, “Shush, listen. You could convince rich guy to take you to his suite or something. Ryan follows after you, kills the security guards, we rob the guy of everything he has with him. Maybe ask nicely for some information.”

Ryan grins, thumb drawing warm circles on Gavin’s neck. He presses a kiss to Meg’s temple. She hums thoughtfully, squeezing the blond’s knee, her other hand searching blindly for Ryan’s free one and entwining their fingers.

“The idea has merit,” she decides, turning to grin up at Ryan. The other nods his agreement. “In the meantime you can pickpocket the other guests. Exclaim over your watch being stolen or something, make a clean getaway in the confusion.”

They’re grinning wildly at each other now. Gavin turns his head and catches Meg’s lips, pressing into her side. Ryan watches fondly, ducking in to kiss each of them in turn after they break apart.

“We just need a target now,” he murmurs, and Gavin scrambles forward to grab his phone. Ryan snatches him by the collar, though, and yanks him back.

“Hey!” the blond squeaks, limbs flailing and hitting Meg in the chest. He turns, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry, Turney.”

She narrows her eyes at him, a wicked smile playing around her lips.

“Make it up to me,” she demands, leaning in. Gavin’s eyes light up, and he wedges a leg between her and Ryan, straddling her lap.

“With pleasure,” he murmurs against her lips, hands coming to rest lightly on her shoulders. Ryan laughs, dropping the arm from around her shoulders to wrap around her waist instead. They don’t get back to planning until much, much later that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/140606695977/for-kayssna-the-loveliest-of-lovely-i-couldnt)


	15. Doolray - Too Many Miles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #15 for fahc doolray? - things you said with too many miles between us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on kayssna's prompt fill:
> 
> “They miss you,” Jeremy says, and immediately regrets it as the silence over the phone goes icy. They don’t discuss the others. It isn’t a rule necessarily but it’s an unspoken agreement that Jeremy just ruined by opening his big mouth.  
> “I’ll be back,” Ray says.  
> “You say that every week,” Jeremy sighs.  
> “And I mean it every week,” Ray says.  
> Jeremy doesn’t voice his doubt but Ray must sense it anyway.  
> “I mean it,” he says, but his voice catches, and Jeremy bites his lip.  
> “If you aren’t, just let me know,” he says, “Because the others don’t deserve to think you're dead for forever just because you’re a coward.”  
> “Jere-”  
> Jeremy hangs up."

It goes like this: Ray never planned for this to happen, but when the opportunity falls into his lap, he leaps at it. He’s been feeling off, lately, an itch that he just can’t stretch. He can’t quite settle into that frame of mind, that trance he used to go into when shooting things. It’s all become routine, and quite frankly he’s bored.

Here’s the thing though: Ray doesn’t tell the others. They’re… something, but no one quite puts it into words. There’s no labels here, and while that was freeing in the beginning, no expectations, no pressure, Ray feels out of place now. Like it should mean more, or at least mean something, but he shies away from it like a spooked animal.

 _Coward_.

It’s like this: he doesn’t mean to fake his death, but when a concussion leaves him unconscious for a day, he wakes up to everyone assuming he died. He can’t reach the others, and when he finally contacts Matt, he swears the hacker to secrecy. Because this is his chance, to explore this restlessness he’s been feeling without consequences.

Here’s what he’s banking on: the others presume him dead, and sure they might mourn him, they might grief, but Ray doesn’t think about it. Tries not to think about them, shies away from emotions. He needs to sort himself out, to figure out what _he_ wants, and it’s easier to find his own path away from them.

(Or maybe it’s just easier to lie to himself.)

He doesn’t mean for Jeremy to find out: he runs into the man on his way out of Matt’s apartment, new fake ID and passport in his dufflebag, with his sniper and essentials. Geoff’s been testing Jeremy a lot, lately, and there were murmurs around the penthouse of inviting him into the main crew. Ray never spend much time with Jeremy, except for that one night where he was high out of his mind and everyone else was drunk, and they all kinda ended up in the same bed.

 _Coward_.

Jeremy stares at him like he’s seeing a ghost: it takes all of his awkward social skills to convince the other to keep quiet about Ray’s plans. He has to promise to call at least once a week, or Jeremy will tell the others of his survival. Something clenches in his gut, and Ray’s not sure if it’s guilt or panic or both.

(He just needs some time to himself, figure himself out. He’s not running away. He’s _not_.)

Talking to Jeremy becomes a habit, a soothing routine amongst a world full of insecurity. Ray sends him pictures from all around the world, tells him little stories of his adventures, makes it seem a lot better than it is. He only touches pot once before swearing off it for the rest of his journey, too reminded of his time back at the penthouse.

This is it, though: the entire time he was with the others, he’d been high and out of his mind, not quite there and too relaxed. They didn’t put label on their thing, they didn’t talk, and maybe Ray needed reassurance that he belonged. He kept ignoring his own feelings, started smoking more, started to lose himself and it scared him. The relationship scared him, and so he ran.

 _Coward_.

And he can say it now: relationship. That’s what it was - a weird amalgamation of dating and benefits, without any verbal confirmation. He knows the others care for him (Jeremy never lets him forget, even when he says nothing. His silence speaks louder than words). He cares about them, too, but in a vague, distant way that he can’t tell if there’s any real feeling to it.

(Maybe he’s broken. Maybe it’s for the best if he never returns.)

Jeremy, though, Jeremy is a fresh breath of air. A connection to his old life, and Ray can’t remember why they never hung out, but the guy is _funny_. He’s starting to look forward to the calls, shares memories of his childhood and past with the man that he didn’t even entrust the others with. He feels close to him, closer than he has to anyone in years, despite the miles between them.

(”Because the others don’t deserve to think you're dead for forever just because you’re a coward.”

 _Coward_.

The word echoes in his mind and Ray stares blankly at his phone, clenching his hand into a fist. There’s a decision to make, and he’s teetering on the edge.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/153441154731/15-for-fahc-doolray-if-youre-not-feeling-that)


	16. Jackvin - Home/Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stubbornessissues: Oooh, for the raffle thing, you know what we need more of in this fandom? Jackvin (if that's your thing, freewood if not) + safety/home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gets very lightly smutty in the middle there?

“Jack? Jack, luv, wake up,” a familiar voice called. Gavin.

“Hrmph?” Jack asked, burrying her head in the soft warm she was pressed close against. The warmth vibrated, and Gavin chuckled into her ear. “Humph.”

“Jack. Jack, are you going back to sleep? Jack,” Gavin rambled, nudging her. “Jack. Jack? At least let me go to the bathroom.”

“Mhrrrm,” she mumbled, huffing as she reluctantly let go of her heat source, burrying under the covers instead. Gavin laughed at her, but slipped quietly out of their bed. It was the weekend. They were home, they were safe, there was no pending crisis to be dealt with. She just wanted to sleep in for once – was that so much to ask?

Jack dozed for a while, vaguely taking note of the toilet flushing and running water, before she dropped back under into the sweet floaty state between dreams and waking. Cool fingers brushed along her cheek, her hair tickling her throat. With a disgruntled harrumph, she blew the strands out of her hair. A giggle, and then warm lips brushed over her cheek instead.

“Jack, luv. Are you done sleeping yet?” Gavin whispered, hot air against her ear making her toes curl. She hummed contently. Fingers traced patterns on her open palm, sending little shocks through her arm and pooling as a low heat in her groins. “Jack.”

“Wha,” she mumbled, snuggling into the warm covers, keeping her eyes closed.

Fingers danced across her palm, the thumb trailing up to rub circles into her wrist. Jack stretched languidly, humming her approval. Soft lips moved from breathing on her ear to brush along her chin until they hovered over her mouth. Jack blinked one eye half-open, taking in Gavin's bemused expression.

“Morning, luv,” he rumbled, leaning in to kiss her soft and slow. Jack twisted under the blankets, lying on her back properly to press closer. “Sleep well?”

“Mhmm,” she hummed agreeably, catching his lower lip between her teeth. Jack watched as Gavin's eyes dilated, but he just chuckled.

“I made breakfast,” he murmured against her lips, and Jack smiled.

“Did you?” she asked lazily, dragging one leg out from under the blankets to hook it behind Gavin's thigh. He raised a brow at her, free hand brushing her hair behind her ear before tracing down her neck.

“Mhm,” he confirmed, leaning back in for another kiss. His hand travelled down her shoulder to her other wrist, and she thightened her grip on his leg instincively when he circled that sensitive spot there, too. “Your favourite, even.”

“You're my favourite, though,” Jack teased, freeing one of her hands reluctantly to card her fingers through his bleach blond hair, nails scraping along his scalp. Gavin closed his eyes, making a contented little noise.

“I mean, if you like your waffles cold, I don't mind-” Gavin started, and Jack laughed, flipping them over so she was on top. She brushed their mouths together into a more heated kiss before disentangling her limbs from his.

“Breakfast first,” she decided, and Gavin pouted up at her exaggeratedly.

“Sex after?”

“Sure,” Jack laughed, slipping off him so he could bring her breakfast in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158280579952/oooh-for-the-raffle-thing-you-know-what-we-need)


	17. AHOT6 - Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorcererinslytherin asked: Fluff prompt - OT6, FAHC, attempting to negotiate sleeping arrangements in a very small safehouse after a very exhausting (but profitable) heist.

“I'm not sleeping in the middle,” Jack declares, kicking off her boots. Behind her, Geoff groans tiredly. They've pushed two bunk beds to either side of king in the master bedroom, but even so, it will be a tight squeeze.

“No problem,” Gavin mutters before faceplanting into the middle of the King-sized bed. Jack stares at him blearily for a second, then shakes her head, unbuttoning her hawaiian shirt.

“Oh my God,” Michael yells and immediately gets hushed by Ryan. “Fucking get out of the dirty clothes first, asshole. And maybe wash your hands. Those sheets were clean, boi!”

“Not moving,” Gavin mumbles, voice muffled by the pillow he's pressed his face in.

“Too bad,” Jeremy calls out cheerfully, grabbing the other lad by the legs and pulling. Gavin yelps, hands scrabbling at the sheets before he finds the headboard to hold onto. Undeterred, Jeremy transfers his grip from the legs to the pants, tugging on them. They slide down a couple inches.

“Jeremy!” Gavin protests shrilly. Ryan shushes him, too.

“What?” Jeremy replies innocently, giving the tight skinny jeans another tug. The pants are now half-way down Gavin's ass. “I'm helping!”

“You're all assholes,” Geoff sighs, his own clothes folded up to military standards. Jack wriggles out of her pin-striped shorts, accepting the old t-shirt Ryan offers her. It's worn and soft and definitely not hers but she very purposefully does not care. She's fucking exhausted.

“Can we all just quiet down, please?” Ryan asks, rubbing at his temples. There's still faint smudges of dark facepaint around his eyes, skin a little red from where he scrubbed it off.

“Headache?” Geoff asks, giving him a sympathetic wince. Ryan nods.

“Took some ibuprofen,” he replies softly. He lobs a bundle of boxers at the lads, and Michael catches it.

“Hell of a heist,” Michael murmurs, distributing the boxers among them. Jack accepts hers from Ryan, leaning against the other gent as she hops on one leg to pull them on. “But I'm exhausted as fuck.”

Jeremy has managed to wrangle Gavin out of most of his clothes, though the golden sunglasses are still pressed firmly on his face, which in turn is hidden in the pillows.

“Scoot over, boi,” Michael orders, flopping down next to Gavin.

“Nuh uh,” Gavin mumbles contrarily. Jeremy grins, shooting her a wink.

“Your loss,” he warns, just before he drops down on top of the other lad. Gavin squawks a half-hearted objection, but settles down quickly enough.

With the lads taking up most of the king sized bed, Jack turns to look at her fellow gents.

“Ryan?” she asks, but he shakes his head.

“Dunno if I can sleep just yet. You and Geoff take the bunks, I'll sit up for a bit.”

She wants to protest, insist that he at least sit with them on the bed, but she's too tired to think up an argument.

“...kay,” she finally agrees, worming her way under the blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158279287770/fluff-prompt-ot6-fahc-attempting-to-negotiate)


	18. Ryan & Gavin - Puppies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> interstellerace asked: Drabble Raffle: Gavin finds a puppy, but isn't sure how to take care of it, so he takes it to Ryan who excitedly helps him out.

“Ryan. Lovely Ryan,” Gavin greets him, and Ryan hesitates. That voice tends to hail mischief. He stares at his cell for a long moment before he answers.

“What,” he replies gruffly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He can feel the headache coming already.

“Rye-bread. Dogs hate grapes, right?”

“If by hate you mean it's poisonous to them, sure,” Ryan agrees slowly, taking a moment to stare at his cell. “Why are you calling, Gavin.”

“Just curious. You know about dogs, right? In theory?”

Ryan snorts. “In practice, too. I used to have one as a kid.”

“So you know how to take care of one?”

There is... something weird to Gavin's voice. Ryan can't quite pin-point it. He frowns.

“I... do,” he replies hesitantly, glancing out of his window intently like he could see the other man. “Why, what are you up to?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Gavin evades, carefree lilt evoking the image of him shrugging. Ryan's eyes narrow.

“Uh huh.”

“I... might need your help, though,” Gavin admits, and he sounds nervous. “With a... with a project, I mean.”

Ryan sighs, dropping his head into his hand. Right.

“Where do we meet?”

“At my appartment?” Gavin suggests, voice pitched low. “I... um, if you have any of the dog care stuff... you know, whatever you need or I don't know- if you could bring that?”

Ryan takes a deep breath and forces himself to not roll his eyes.

“How many dogs, Gavin?” he asks, exasperated.

“Whoever said anything about dogs-” Gavin protests immediately.

“Gavin.” He doesn't mean to sound so sharp.

“Three,” he admits, deflating. “They're just puppies, Rye, I couldn't just leave them in the gutter, but they're also dirty and, I don't know, probably have flees, and I've only ever had _cats_ , Ryan, I know how to take care of cats, but you can't tell Geoff, he'll tell me to get rid of them, and I looked, there's no shelter in all of Los Santos that actually keeps to the no-kill rule, I know, it's very depressing-”

“Gavin,” Ryan interrupts, smiling fondly. “Idiot. Of course I'll help. Give me half an hour, I need to stock up on the necessities first. Do you know what breed they are?”

“Um. They're dark furred? They have big paws, I think that means they're gonna be tall dogs, right?”

“...right. Be there in 30.” Ryan shakes his head with a smile.

“Thanks, Rye,” Gavin replies, sounding relieved.

“Always. Idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158278358096/drabble-raffle-gavin-finds-a-puppy-but-isnt)


	19. Joelay - Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> acindra asked: For your drabble raffle, Joel doting on Ray

“Here,” Joel says, trying to catch the younger man's attention where he's lying on the couch. He waves a wrapped giftbox in front of his face, and Ray reluctantly pauses his game of Call of Duty. “Got you a little something.”

“What is it?” Ray asks curiously, turning the box over in his hands. Joel grins brightly, rolling onto the ball of his feet and back.

“Open it,” he urges, eyes sparkling secretively. Ray shrugs, pulling on the bow and ripping the paper apart. He opens the box on one side and then turns it upside down, shaking until a thin, purple 3DS lands in his lap.

Ray freezes.

“Is this...?” he queries, staring at his gift reverently. He barely dares to breath.

“The new and improved 3DS? Why, yes, it is,” Joel replies smugly, preening. “It's a custom-job, extra CPU, special cover color, comes with a bunch of games.”

“The market release isn't for another month,” Ray breathes, finally touching his finger to the purple plastic. Joel hums proudly.

“That's not all. Go on, check the rest of the box,” he insists, casually dropping a hand on Ray's shoulder. Sharp eyes glance up at him, but he doesn't shrug him off as his goes after the box he discarded. A case with three magazines drops out of the box, landing next to the purple 3DS.

“What am I looking at?” Ray asks after a long moment, inspecting the ammunition carefully.

“Experimental sniper rounds,” Joel explains casually, puffing his chest up. “Military grade. My contact managed to get her hands on some, and I thought, well, I don't really know all that many talented snipers aside from Blake-”

“Heyman,” Geoff calls out warily, standing in the doorway with crossed arms and narrow eyes. “What the fuck are you doing in my penthouse?”

“What, I can't even visit my old friend anymore?” Joel jokes, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. Geoff snorts, taking a swig of the whiskey bottle he's carrying with him.

“You and me both know I'm not the reason you're here,” Geoff points out, nodding towards where Ray is examining his gifts. “You better not be stealing my sniper, asshole.”

“Nothing of the sort,” Joel promises with a grin, turning back to Ray expectantly. “So? What do you think?”

Ray shrugs, dropping the shells back into the case and snapping it shut.

“I need to test them out first,” he decides, stretching with a huff. Then he springs up of the couch, pocketing his new DS and motioning for Joel to grab the case. “Welp, road trip! You coming, old man?”

“I'm not _that_ old,” Joel protests, but takes the case and follows after Ray obediently enough.

“No seducing my sniper away, either!” Geoff yelps after them. “Build your own damn crew, you fucking poacher!”

Joel just flips him off, smiling smugly to himself.  Ray  _likes_ his gifts, he can tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158277641985/for-your-drabble-raffle-joel-doting-on-ray)


	20. Jack & Gavin (Mavin) - Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> davidelizabethbowiestrider asked: My prompt is Gavin and Jack going sexy clothing shopping because Gavin wants to impress Michael. <3333333333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lingerie kink

“What do you think of this?” Gavin asked, holding up lacy, pink panties. Jack gave them due consideration, tilting her head before glancing up at Gavin sharply.

“You seem quite set on pink,” she observed drily, catching his eyes. “Any particular reason?”

Gavin's hands fluttered as he searched for words, blushing darkly.

“It just... seems appropriate? I don't know,” he muttered, ducking his head. “Do you think... Michael would like these?”

Jack snorted.

“Michael would like you in and out of any of these,” she predicted, shaking her head. Gavin bit his lower lip, avoiding her gaze. “Hey. You're pretty damn hot, it's just a fact. Michael's head over heels for you either way. Here, try these.”

She pushed a black and green pair on him, ushering him back into the changing room. The cashier looked up at her as she went back to perusing the wares.

“No luck?” she asked sympathetically, and Jack shook her head ruefully. She'd befriended the other woman during group meetings, back when she was just discovering herself and her body. The lack of judgement and disgust was the reason she'd picked this particular shop for this venture.

“It's his first time with lingerie, and he wants to impress his partner. He's nervous,” she explained, and the other woman nodded slowly.

“Try the black and white lace over in the corner there. I find it sells well with men trying to be adventurous in the bedroom,” she suggested, and Jack nodded her thanks. She grabbed a couple choices and walked back to the cabin just as Gavin stuck his head out, cheeks flushed.

“Jack?” he called, and she hustled over. He dragged the curtain back a little, letting her see. “What do you think?”

“Green suits you,” she declared, nodding firmly. “How does it fit?”

“I, uh. I got enough space? I'm not sure how it's supposed to feel, honestly. The cloth is nice and smooth.”

“Does it cinch? Pinch anywhere?” Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh, no, it's fine, I guess?” Gavin rubbed his neck sheepishly, shooting her a grin. “Sorry. I guess I'm just pretty deadset on getting at least one pink pair.”

Jack waved him off with a laugh.

“Here, try these next. I'll go get you more pink laces if you're heart is really set on it.”

Gavin nodded bashfully. “That would be lovely, thanks.”

“And maybe one pure gold, hm?” she teased, and Gavin chuckled, looking surprised.

“Do they have solid gold panties?” he asked curiously, and it was to Jack to shake her head this time.

“Nah, but I'm pretty sure I saw gold booty shorts in the swim wear section, if you want to check it out,” she replied, waggling her brows. Gavin shot her a grin, regaining his confidence.

“You know my size, go get me a pair, minion,” he ordered imperiously, and Jack laughed.

“As you wish, my liege,” she joked, heading off as Gavin dragged the curtain close to change into another pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158281589673/my-prompt-is-gavin-and-jack-going-sexy-clothing)


	21. Ryackeoff - Grooming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lunarlover12 asked: Ayo! Congrats on your 400! For the prompt how about some (hybrid?) Gents telling each other they love them for the first time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hybrid au, totally failed the prompt have some grooming bath fun times instead.

“Ryan, have you seen Jack’s brush?” Geoff called, lifting the brush he and Ryan shared. “I can only find ours, and that’s no good with his mane.”

Ryan stuck his head out of the walk-in closet, carefully avoiding the frame with his wide horns. He was only wearing jogging pants, and Geoff let his gaze linger on his back, the muscles rippling as he turned sideways.

“It’s not in the bathroom?” Ryan asked, frowning quizzically. “I could swear it was in the cabinet under the sink.”

“No, I could only find ours, and the bristles are too short for Jack,” Geoff replied, shaking his head.

“I got your horn balm, assholes, you coming!?” Jack called from the bath, and Geoff and Ryan exchanged a guilty look.

“Hold your horses, dickhead, we’re coming!” Geoff yelled back, voice pitched high. He shook his head irritably, foot scraping across the ground. “Fuck, where the fuck did you drop it?”

“I didn’t lose anything!” Ryan protested, gathering up the clean clothes and towels. He butted his head gently against Geoff’s. “C'mon, maybe Jack knows where it is.”

Jack was indeed waiting for them, impatiently tapping the missing brush against his thigh.

“What took you assholes so long?” he asked, sounding exasperatedly fond. Geoff squawked, pointing at the brush with his own brush.

“I was searching for that everywhere!”

Jack raised his eyebrows, giving the other man a look. “It was in the drawer. Where it always is. Really, Geoffrey, you’d think you know your way around your own house.”

“We haven’t lived here _that_ long,” he huffed, dropping his brush in the sink while Ryan deposited the clean clothes on the hamper. He motioned to Jack imperiously. “C'mon up. You shower first, you take longest to get dry.”

“Yeah, if my fur doesn’t clog the drain again,” Jack sighed, rolling his shoulders. He slipped out of his clothes and into the shower easily, though, offering his boyfriends a good view off his furry ass and tail.

“Shut up and hurry up, asshole, I want to get to the _good_ part,” Geoff grumped, jumping when Ryan wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“Sex?” he inquired bemusedly, carefully dropping his head on Geoff’s shoulder in a way that his horns didn’t clock him one, nor did they tangle up with Geoff’s.

“No, you dickhead,” Geoff countered, smirking as he laid his hands on top of Ryan’s. “The _grooming_.”

They took turns washing off, quickly shampooing and soaping up fur, hair and skin respectively with their appropriate hygiene products. Geoff and Ryan could get away with sharing shampoo, but Jack’s mane had different requirements.

Afterwards, Jack settled on a chair, Ryan dropping down in front of him on a pillow, resting his head in the lion hybrid’s lap. Jack’s chest vibrated, a purr neither the ram nor the bull hybrid were able to pick up but could almost feel from this close. Geoff sat down on the bathtub lid, brushing through Jack’s mane carefully, entangling the knots. Ryan sighed contently while Jack rubbed the hornbalm where skin met the hardened horn.

“Better than sex,” he agreed under his breath, and Jack chuckled.

“Nah,” he disagreed, his dry fingers carding through Ryan’s blond hair. “But nearly as good.”

Geoff sighed exasperatedly. “Love you, too, you dicks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158320067372/ayo-congrats-on-your-400-for-the-prompt-how)


	22. Jerevinwood - Good Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> skydiver-tomyo asked: Raffle <3 jerevinwood, soft, snowy morning cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> implied sex, insecure Jeremy

The first thing he noticed where the restraints. Thick ropes or maybe metal bolts, clamping in a circle around him. Jeremy frowned. They were weirdly warm and soft to the touch. A breeze of hot air brushed against his ear and neck, causing goosebumps to spring forth. What…?

“Morning, dear,” a deep voice chuckled into the other ear, the vibrations thrumming through his back. “Sleep well?”

“Whuh?” Jeremy mumbled, blinking his eyes open. He didn’t see much at first, vision obscured by blond fuzz… hair? Another chuckle vibrated through him, and Jeremy took a moment to think back. The last thing he remembered was… Oh.

Right.

Falling into bed with Gavin and Ryan, after pining after one or the other for weeks.

“Morn’,” he yawned, twisting in his restraints- arms. Those were arms wrapped tightly around him from both sides. “What’s with the octopus routine?”

“Gavin gets clingy,” Ryan laughed, pressing a kiss to Jeremy’s bare shoulder. “Resistance is futile.”

Now that he was slowly waking up, Jeremy realized that Ryan was embracing him in a much looser hold, but still pressed firmly against his back. The lips moved on from his shoulder and along his neck.

Jeremy blushed, squirming fruitlessly.

“So, uh,” he stuttered, heat pooling in his lower stomach. “Is this like, one last round of morning sex before you kick me out, or can I expect breakfast?”

“Kick you out?” Ryan echoed, sounding bewildered. Jeremy glanced up at the older man to see his brows furrowing. “Where would you even go in this blizzard- no, wait. Priorities.”

He tugged on Gavin’s arms until the other let go with a disgruntled grumble, blinking his eyes open to glare at them. Ryan ignored him, taking Jeremy by the shoulders and turning him around to face him.

“Jeremy. We’re not kicking you out. This, whatever this is,” he said, waving his hand in a vague circle. “We- Well. I would like for this to be a thing.”

“A _thing_ ,” Jeremy teased, smiling nervously. “Wow, much words. Such eloquence.”

“Shut up,” Ryan groaned, flushing bright red. “You know what I mean. I’d like to keep having sex with you. If you want, that is.”

Jeremy fell silent, heart beating fast. He leaned up, brushing their mouths together in a chaste kiss, Ryan’s fingers curling around his upper arms. He flexed them, hoping to impress. Gavin wrapped his arms around his waist from behind with a irritable murmur.

“I want,” Jeremy agreed, ducking his head and blushing. “If- I mean. What does Gavin want?”

“ _Gavin_ ,” the man in question grumbled, pressing his face between Jeremy’s shoulder blades. “-wants to sleep, if possible. Sex, if not. Stop waking me up, you mongs, unless you have breakfast.”

Jeremy caught Ryan’s sparkling eyes and couldn’t help himself. He laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158321086387/raffle-3-jerevinwood-soft-snowy-morning-cuddles)


	23. Mavin - College Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> armadil-lauren asked: mavin college au based off of ed sheeran's song 'how would you feel'? (also congrats again hehe!) <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College AU, pining

Gavin glances around the room, gaze flitting along the crowd, before he slips outside. Inside, music is booming and people are cheering and yelling loudly, having fun. Usually Gavin would join them, maybe poke at the drunks to see how far he can go. Not tonight, though.

With a sigh, he drops down on the front porch, chin on his palms, elbows on his knees.

He doesn’t know where Michael went off to, but he hasn’t seen his boi since they arrived here together. He’d thought… but no. It’s not rare for them to hang out together, or go partying together. Michael is lots of fun, and his best friend, his _boi_ , but-

 _I love you_.

It sits on the tip of Gavin’s tongue, and he burries his face in his palms.

He’s been thinking it for a while now, whenever they fool around or practice kissing or fake flirt. But also when they just sit next to each other, their knees brushing, elbows jostling, when Michael laughs and smiles and Gavin just can’t stop watching-

“Hey boi, there you are,” Michael calls out, and then there’s the sound of footsteps before someone drops down to sit next to him. “I was wondering where you vanished off to. Almost thought you got lucky with some bird, eh?”

“Tell me that you love me, too,” Gavin blurts out. The next second he flushes, but the words are out there and he can’t take them back. Instead, he squares his chin, looking up to stare at Michael challengingly.

“Too?” Michael echoes bewilderedly, ruffling through his own hair. He’s holding a bottle of beer loosely between his knees, and he’s staring at Gavin like he’s lost is head. “I- What? You drunk, boi?”

Michael chuckles awkwardly, making an abortive motion, like he was going to take a swig of beer. Gavin turns to face him properly, resting a hand on his knee.

 _I love you_.

“Tell me,” he demands. Michael ducks his head, putting the bottle down. Gavin tugs on his leg, repeating firmly. “Tell me you love me, too.”

“Gav,” Michael breathes, glancing up at him uncertainly. “C'mon, boi, stop teasing me like that.”

“Then kiss me,” Gavin counters, heart stuck in his throat. “Kiss me, and I’ll know.”

“I-” Michael swallows, his fingers twitching uselessly against his lap. “I mean, sure, why not-”

Gavin doesn’t wait for more of an invitation, leaning forward and catching Michael’s lips, slow and demanding. His fingers dig into Michael’s knee, and his boi gasps. Gavin wastes no time, slipping his tongue in, melting into the familiar feeling of Michael’s mouth. Arms wrap around him painfully slow, and somehow he ends up in Michael’s lap, even if he can’t remember making the decision.

Finally, Gavin broke off with a gasp, leaning back just enough to catch Michael’s eyes.

“How would you feel,” he starts, before the courage slips through his fingers. “If I told you I love you?”

The words seem to settle Michael, tension fleeing his shoulders and his arms tightening around Gavin.

“I’d tell you, I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158323374237/mavin-college-au-based-off-of-ed-sheerans-song)


	24. Jackeoff - Star Wars - First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alyseauthentic asked: geoff/jack: first kiss?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars au, set in the same universe as this ([tumblr](https://alyseauthentic.tumblr.com/post/158319803777/title-betrayal-never-comes-from-the-enemy-ao3)/[ao3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10241606)) Ryackeoff story.
> 
> Kayssna has my explicit permission to use this tidbit as she sees fit in future installments :)

They sit in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, knees brushing as they fall into meditation. They’ve been doing this since they grew up in the crèche together – Geoff always found it easier to reach that tranquil place within the Force if he was touching Jack in one way or another. He didn’t cling to the thought, just let it sweep through his mind and be carried away by the waves of the Force.

He could feel Jack as a warm spot next to him, an easy connection through the Force due to their phsyical contact. He sent him a wave of warm affection, letting the emotion dissipate in the Force but not before he enveloped Jack in the feeling.

 _Stop trying to distract me_ , Jack chided, but fondness cloaked his words. Geoff chuckled. _Seriously, focus._

 _I am focussed_ , Geoff replied, accompanied with an approximation of a leer. _You’re beautiful in the Force_.

_Geoff…_

_You are_ , he insisted, focussing on Jack’s essence and trying to mirror it back at him. _Warmth, safety, home, the smell of jasmine tea mixing with ardees, the feeling of the sun warming his face, a steadying hand on his shoulder-_

 _Surprise. Bafflement. A little embarassment and pride_. The emotions brushed against Geoff’s presence as they were released into the Force, and he opened his eyes to watch Jack’s face. Outwardly calm and collected, deep in a meditative trance, it was yet easy for Geoff to make out his nervous tells.

The twitching of a finger. The line of his brows. The tilt of his head, the tension in his shoulder. The curve of his lips.

His lips.

Geoff dropped out of his lotus seat, glancing around. It was late in the evening, and they were the only ones left within the large hall. No one left to scold him for attachment, to lecture him on the pitfalls of connecting with another sentient being. Determined, he turned back to Jack, only to catch the worried look in his warm, brown eyes.

“Geoff,” he whispered, and Geoff reached out to catch his hand.

“It’s fine,” he replied, squeezing. “I love you. Have since forever. And it hasn’t hurt us in all these years, has it? I’m already attached, Jack.”

Jack bit his lip, ducking his head as he thought. Geoff let him, knowing he would come to the same conclusion.

“Then… we are both compromised,” he breathed, lifting his head. Geoff stared at him, nodding slowly. Jack smiled. “What does it matter, then, if we acknowledge this… folly. It changes nothing about the situation.”

“It doesn’t,” Geoff murmured, shifting onto his knees and leaning forward.

Their lips met in a soft, chaste first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158326746867/geoffjack-first-kiss)


	25. Mavinseg - Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trixielestrange asked: For the drabble: Mavinseg in fahc au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally written on Meg's birthday <3

Michael and Gavin were racing in Mario Kart when Lindsay came flouncing down the stairs, flopping on the free couch with a grin. Meg looked up from where she’d set up in the corner with her (real-gold!) vanity, putting on her work make-up.

“Have you guys seen the news?” Lindsay asked excitedly, bouncing in place. Michael grunted distractedly, nudging Gavin as his character passed by. Gavin squawked, flailing his arms and nearly hitting the controller out of Michael’s hands.

“Gavin!” Michael protested. He held his controller up and away from the blond, eyeing him sharply.

“I haven’t,” Meg replied calmly, leaning in to apply her eyeliner. “Anything interesting?”

“But Micool!” Gavin yelped, leaning into the other lad’s space, trying to snatch his controller..

“I think you should see this,” Lindsay said, blithely ignoring the impending wrestling match. “You too, assholes.”

“What, some politician cark it?” Michael drawled, pausing the game to shoot Lindsay a look. “What’s the fuss about?”

“Just check it out already,” Lindsay whined, giving him the pleading puppy dog eyes in return.

“Fine, Christ,” Michael grumbled, rolling his eyes and switching over to the news. Meg walked up behind the couch, leaning on the back with her arms casually crossed. Gavin dropped his head back to grin up at her. Meg wriggled her fingers at him wryly.

On the screen, Risinger was reporting some murder crime scene from this morning, a stock photo of the police “do not cross” line as the background image. Lindsay bit her lip, sitting on her hands. She knew there was footage, she’d checked earlier. It was only a matter of timing…

“So, what are we looking at?” Gavin asked impatiently, flopping down sideways to lay his head in Michael’s lap.

“Wait for it…!” Lindsay replied mysteriously, bouncing excitedly in place.

The news changed to live camera footage, shaky as it panned up and zoomed in. A man in a business suit was hanging off a long rope, dangling at a good 300 hundred feet in the air from a crane. Next to him a banner hung, reading _Happy_ _Birthday_ in dripping red letters.

“Is that- that’s my target!” Meg exclaimed, hand fluttering up to her mouth. She rounded on Lindsay, eyes wide. “I was gonna off him tonight before dinner. How-?”

“Happy Birthday, babe,” Lindsay crowed smugly, jumping up to drag the other woman into a hug. Meg laughed, brushing her dark lipstick over Lindsay’s cheek.

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything!” she giggled, wrapping her arms around Lindsay’s waist.

“You- you…!” Gavin gaped, pointing a finger at the embracing women. “I reserved dinner at _The Ritz_ , you weren’t supposed to be able to one-up me-!”

“You asshole did what!?” Michael yelled, amusement colouring his voice. “No wonder you were so smug, you thought you had this one in the bag, didn’t you?”

Meg laughed. “Since when have birthday gifts become a competition?”

“Says this competetive asshole right here,” Lindsay chuckled, catching her mouth in a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158369259117/for-the-drabble-mavinseg-in-fahc-au)


	26. Jerevin - Post Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **shadeofazmeinya:** thought: fahc gavin. knuckles bloody, shirt ripped, splattered in blood, expression cold, dark. laying besides him someone he loves, hurt, maybe unconscious. In front, a dead body of the person who hurt the one he loves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [tumblr post.](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/160236665506/shadeofazmeinya-thought-fahc-gavin-knuckles)

When it’s done, Gavin drops to his knees and pulls Jeremy’s head into his lap. His breathing is shallow but steady, eyes closed as if he’s sleeping. He’s not.

The phone falls from Gavin’s limb fingers, clattering onto the concrete ground. The screen splinters, still lit. He didn’t even hang up first. But he called Jack, help is on its way, they know their coordinates. Everything will be fine. It will be fine.

Gavin inhales sharply and exhales shakily, fingers carding absently through Jeremy’s short hair. There’s a splatter of blood on his cheek, and Gavin wipes at it with his thumb, smudging the drying spots into a faint pink, heedless of the red staining his own knuckles.

They shouldn’t have come for him. He’d thought he’d been clever, been sneaky enough. He doesn’t understand how they figured it out, how they found him, but they did. And Jeremy, lovely, brave Jeremy, who didn’t know what was going on, jumping between him and the threat. And now-

No. Gavin refuses to follow that line of thought.

Jeremy will be fine. Everything will be fine.

In the distant he hears sirens, but he can’t be bothered to gather himself up and leave. He won’t leave Jeremy behind, even if the cops are heading this way. Not after everything Jeremy has done for him, not when he still has so much to tell him. Gavin swallows, but his throat is tight. He hangs his head, unable to say it even to an unconcious Jeremy.

He needs to say it. He needs Jeremy to hear it.

A hand clasps his shoulder, and Gavin flinches, looking up wild-eyed. Michael looks back at him with a grim expression, nodding towards where Jeremy is lying on the cold floor. It’s started raining. Gavin hasn’t even noticed.

“Let’s get him home, boi,” Michael says, and Gavin closes his eyes. Tension leaks from his shoulders. He nods.

They both ignore the corpses cooling around them as they heave Jeremy up and into the car. Michael doesn’t say a word as Gavin slips into the backseat, cushioning Jeremy’s head in his lap again. He keeps carding through his hair.

Soft, lovely Jeremy.


	27. Jeremwood - Torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Casual Canon Typical Violence + Torture. I tried to keep it non-graphic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [post.](http://armadil-lauren.tumblr.com/post/161508801186/armadil-lauren-okay-but-the-smoked-out-video)

Ryan watched as Jeremy crumbled to the floor with a broken off cry. Guilt was churning in his stomach, twisting into knots. His face remained blank as he kept his eyes on Jeremy's bleeding face. A kick to the stomach had him arching of the ground with a grunt, but Ryan couldn't see his attacker. The camera was zoomed in on Jeremy alone.

“Well, Vagabond?” his kidnapper taunted. “Has he had enough yet, or should we continue?”

Ryan's grit his teeth, staring blankly at the screen. The man standing at his side tutted, tilting his chin up so he was looking at him. His white suit was flecked with dust, his purple tie almost blue in the light from the screen. Ryan unclenched his jaw with effort, his eyes narrowing as he aimed and spit. The man flinched back, but his tie was now visibly stained.

“I suppose that's a no, then,” he mused, grimacing as he inspected his tie. “Very well. The boys were having fun anyway.”

He pressed enter on the keyboard, and a light buzzing sound filled the room. On the screen, someone dragged Jeremy upright to face the camera. Hands were holding him up by the arms, his dazed eyes unable to focus as he swayed. Ryan steeled himself, locking eyes with him. This was his fault. They were hurting Jeremy because Ryan wouldn't talk. The least he could do was witness what they did in his name.

“The Vagabond sends his regards,” one of the goons mocks and there's a flash of something across Jeremy's face, before it's forced to the side as a fist hits his cheek.

Ryan didn't look away once.

 

* * *

 

It felt like days later when the crew comes to save them. Ryan leaned silently against the back of the ambulance, watching as they carried Jeremy out of the smoking ruins. The gang that got them was no more, and neither were their safehouses. Or their headquarters. The Fakes were always thorough.

Ryan stood up, moving to the side so they could put Jeremy into the back of the ambulance. Then he climbed in behind them. The EMTs looked ready to protest, but Caleb waved them off.

“He needs to come back to the clinics, too,” he decided. “Doesn't matter where he sits.”

Jeremy was barely conscious, and Ryan wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse. His face was bloated and bruised, dried blood running down his jaw. Ryan sat next to him and carefully took Jeremy's hand in his.

“Jeremy,” he rasped, and it's the first words he spoke since they got him out. “I'm... I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.”

It's like a dam breaking, once he started he couldn't stop the words from pouring out. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.”

“Rye...yan?” Jeremy whispered, squinting up at him through swollen eyes, and Ryan felt tears start running down his cheeks. “What-”

“Shh, love, it's fine, you're safe, everything will be okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he babbled. Jeremy squeezed his hand, and Ryan held on tight. “So sorry, but you'll be fine, we're safe, we got out, I'm sorry, I promise.”

“Rye... Ryan...” Jeremy trailed off, his eyes falling shut and his hand going limb in Ryan's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find it here on [tumblr.](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/161538361372/armadil-lauren-tw-casual-canon-typical)


	28. Jackray - Forehead Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> doctorzieglerwrites asked: #3 (kiss on the forehead) and jackpot c:

“And Ray?” Jack called, and Ray paused in the doorway, glancing over his shoulder at him.

“Yeah?”

“Come here,” Jack ordered, and Ray obeyed bemusedly. Jack leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Good job out there today.”

Ray looked up at him, smiling softly. “Thanks, Jack. You, too. Great driving and all that jazz.”

Jack chuckled, shaking his head. “Get outta here, asshole. Enjoy the rest of your day of not getting shot at.”

“Awww, stop ruining my plans, Jack.” Ray pouted, dodging as Jack mimed swatting him up the head. “Seriously, dude, that was fun. We should do that again sometime.”

“Just you and me, huh?” Jack chuckled self-conciously. Ray stopped and shot him a serious look.

“Yeah. Just you and me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/161904200597/3-and-jackpot-c)


	29. Jeremwood - Stomach Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shadeofazmeinya asked: #9: kiss on the stomach with jeremwood

Jeremy leaned down, kissing Ryan just above the belly button.

“And that’s-” Another kiss, slightly to the right. “-why-” And another, further right. “-no matter-” He’s slowly kissing a circle around the belly button. “-what-” And it tickled. “-anyone says-” Ryan held carefully still, even though he wanted to laugh. “-you’re the best.”

He glanced up at Ryan, who was slowly losing composure. A giggle escaped his throat.

“So, you know. I love you, flubs and flab and all.”

“I love you, too, but how-” Ryan chuckled, shaking his head. “How did we get from you feeling self-conscious about your abs to you reassuring me?”

“…because I love you, flubs and flab and all.”

“ _Jeremy_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read it here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/161868939627/9-kiss-on-the-stomach-with-jeremwood-if-u)


	30. Micasay - Collarbone Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lunarlover12 asked: 14 (kiss on the collarbone) for some Mica/Lindsay?

Lindsay laid her head on Mica’s shoulder, staring up at her mischievously. Mica narrowed her eyes, holding her gaze. Lindsay’s hands was circling over her stomach, slowly sliding higher with intent- she knew her girlfriend was up to something, but she couldn’t figure out _what_.

“Boop!” Lindsay yelled, bopping her nose with her finger. “Got your nose!”

“What.” Mica gaped at her while she giggled, pressing her face into Mica’s neck. “What just happened?”

Still laughing, Lindsay rolled on top of her, pressing a line of kisses along her collarbone. Mica melted under her touch, reluctantly amused if still confused.

“Nothing,” Lindsay said, staring down at her sappily. “Just realized I got super lucky.”

“What, with lil ol’ me?” Mica asked self-depreciatingly. Lindsay smooshed one last, wet kiss to her collarbone before pushing herself up, hovering over her.

“Yes, you.” She leaned down to peck her lips. “You’re a fucking catch, and never tell anyone otherwise, got it?”

Mica smiled against Lindsay’s lips. “Got it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read it here on [tumblr.](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/161868569807/14-for-some-micalindsay-not-for-any-fic)


	31. Ray - Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [post](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/161661237256/doctorzieglerwrites).

Ray always leaves when he realizes how much he loves these idiots. The entire crew, but especially the main crew, the A-Team, they’re… close friends. Family even. It makes his heart jump into his throat and close up until he can’t breathe.

So he leaves. Needs to clear his head, forget about these assholes. Needs to concentrate on being a lonewolf again, him vs the world.

He misses them so much his fingers shake as he sights down the rifle, trailing his target. His chest feels tight and he can’t take the deep breathes he needs. He drops the sniper and curses quietly to himself, staring at his unsteady hands. He can do this another night. He’s not on a time limit.

He packs up and returns to the hotel and his head feels like fog.

It’s only when he decides to return to Los Santos, after this job, that the energy running through his veins calms down enough that he’s able to take the shot. He’s tried a lot over the years - weed is only a temporary solution and he won’t touch a drop of alcohol since… well.

Only returning seems to help. But being with the crew, being home hurts. Makes things worse again. And so he leaves. And so the cycle continues.


	32. Doolray - Kiss the Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written in dialogue with ganglylimbs. Check out [this post](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/161602440746/doolray-you-say-how-about-ray-constantly) for their ideas.

Ray being the most observant noticing Jeremy’s praise kink first.

“Good catch, Bits.”

Ray absolutely showering Jeremy in compliments.

“Nice shot, shortstack.”

Jeremy stepping in front of Ray when he’s threatened.

“Dude, you didn’t have to. But thanks.”

Jeremy on a job with Ray on the roof.

“I got your back, Pipsqueak.”

Someone’s after Jeremy and Ray sees red.

“They’re not gonna lay a hand on you. They’ll be dead before they step within five feet of you, god-fucking-dammit.”

Ray got hit by a stray bullet and can’t walk for a week, so Jeremy carries him everywhere.

“Thatta way, my loyal mule.”

Jeremy and Ray laying on a rooftop, quietly staring up into the night sky. The smog hides some of the stars, but it doesn’t matter. They listen to their breathing, the rise and fall of their chests. Ray turns to look at Jeremy, and Jeremy stares back, eyes full of wonder.

“Something on my face?” Ray jokes. Jeremy smiles softly and leans closer.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, and their noses are nearly brushing. “Right… here…”

They kiss.

 

* * *

 

 

Ray, the most observant of them all, utterly oblivious to the crush Jeremy has on him.

“Thanks buddy.” “You didn’t have to.” “Sure thing, dude.”

It drives Jeremy absolutely crazy, pining after Ray’s ass since day one.

“Just kiss him,” Michael says, and that’s the worst advice Jeremy has ever heard.

“I didn’t hear that, lalalala, I can’t hear you, I’m not listening, it’s none of my business-” is Geoff’s reaction.

“I can kiss him for you,” Ryan offers and Jeremy just glares at him, offended. “See? Go do it yourself.”

 

* * *

 

 

 _Gavin_ would just suggest to ignore it until it goes away because everything else would cause drama. “What if you broke up, Jeremy?”

“Man, don’t remind me. That’s why I’m not gonna say anything.”

“Oh, okay. Right.” A pause. “Maybe wear tighter Tees? You got some great muscle going for you.”

“ _Gavin_!”

“Wot? Just trying to help.”

“Not helping, idiot. I can’t believe you guys-”

Jeremy walks out muttering, and Ray falls through the ceiling vent, tumbls directly onto Gavin’s desk next to his monitor setup.

“Um. I can explain.”

“No need. Did you catch all that?” Gavin asks impatiently.

“Uh, duh.”

“Then go release that boy from his misery.” He makes a shooing motion with his hand. Ray looks amused.

“Fine. Manipulative asshole.”

“That’s me.” Gavin looks smug. “Now kiss the boy.”


	33. Terms'verse Lads - Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anon asked: for the 400 followers thing, how about something with Micheal from the Terms and Conditions Apply series?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a while I thought I'd come back to this and turn it into a bigger story, but at this point it's unlikely so might as well post.
> 
> Set in the Terms And Conditions Apply series.

"Alright, bitches, hop in!” Michael crowed, ushering them to his sparkly new Corvette. The car was one of the first of its kinds produced, and Michael was particularly proud of the deal he made that got him one this soon. “I’ve got plans for the evening, chop, chop!”

“What plans?” Gavin drawled, sprawling over the passenger seat, while Jeremy scooted into the backseat.

“That’s a surprise,” Michael sing-songed, flashing Gavin a grin. The car purred to life, and Jeremy slumped in the backseat. He relented a little. “But we’re going up Mount Chilliad.”

“Ohhh,” Gavin cooed, face splitting in a bright grin. “It’s been a while since we’ve been up there. Where are you thinking? The Vinewood sign, or the vine woods?”

“The forest, actually,” Michael admitted, throwing a glance at the rearview mirror to see Jeremy perk up. “I’ve set everything up so we can stay overnight.”

“A sleep-over in the dark woods?” Jeremy chimed in, lip pulling back to show a single, rather pointy fang. “How creepy.”

“Shut up,” Michael laughed, stepping a little too heavily on the gas as the rounded the corner. The tires squealed, but Michael kept the wheel steady. “It’s full moon tonight, unless you two idiots forgot. I thought we could let you have some fun, Jeremy, away from the general populus.”

“Oh,” Jeremy said, looking flustered. “That’s- you don’t have to-”

“Aww, but Jeremy!” Gavin pouted, turning in his seat to face the other. “I wanted to play with puppy-you. Don’t you want to play with me?”

“I mean-” Jeremy stammered, face flushing darkly. “I- I don’t want to be any trouble?”

“At least he didn’t bring up the ‘hurt us’ excuse again,” Michael mused, and Gavin raised a brow at him haughtily.

“He better not, that one grows old. We’re immortal, after all,” he said, sniffing disdainfully. Jeremy chuckled awkwardly, slumping further in his seat.

“So I figure,” Michael went on, blithely ignoring the embarassed werewolf. “We’ll have a nice picnic for dinner and then explore the area until it’s time for Jeremy to change. We can play catch, or hide and seek for a while.”

“We should hide while Jeremy changes!” Gavin enthused, turning back around to grin at Michael. “Then, once he finds us, we can play catch. Maybe wrestle for a bit? I’ve always wanted to explore the woods in the dark.”

“What if we find any other werewolves?” Jeremy piped up. Michael glanced back at him, he slowly seemed to warm up to the idea. “I’m still pretty young, comparatively. I don’t think I can fight a pack off alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Michael scolded light-heartedly. “You have half your pack with you, too.”

“Oh,” Jeremy said, growing quiet.

“Aww, lovely Jeremy,” Gavin cooed, reaching back to ruffle his hair. “We’ll have to go out with the entire pack one of these nights, scare the shit out of any innocent passerbys.”

“That sounds great,” Jeremy replied, a strangled, wistful sound. Michael laughed.

“It’s a deal!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here on [tumblr.](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/158328561737/anon-asked-for-the-400-followers-thing-how)


	34. Freewood - Soulmate I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> youngjusticeaddict said: (about the "Help save me" soulmates au) ryan becoming the vagabond and learning all he can about how to protect himself and others and how to kill people just so he can save his soulmate in the future and then he joins the fakes and michael is chasing gavin around the penthouse the first day he joins and gavin hides behind him and says help, save me! and ryan just stops, steps aside, and lets michael get at gavin while contemplating why fate would screw him over like this, /he trained all these years for a goddammed tickle fight/
> 
> Based on [this post](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/162521895740/asukaskerian-joisbishmyoga-a-soulmate-fic)

Okay but also consider this: Ryan grew up as a Good Boy™, and his parents had high expectations of him and, knowing his soulmark and assuming it to be some Damsel in Distress™, he was always pressured to be The Hero™ and was sent to all the athletic trainings. He learned a lot of hand-to-hand combat as a kid, knows kickboxing, boxing, Judo, Karate, a bunch of other disciplines.

He grew paranoid, flinching at every flash of movement, highly alert at all times knowing that every moment he could meet his soulmate and he _had to be ready_. He stopped sleeping properly, afraid that he wouldn’t be good enough. Trying to cram as much homework and workout into the late hours as he could, because surely, surely it was not enough.

His father took him to the range as soon as he hit puberty and showed him how to shoot guns, from then on, he was expected to fit a visit to the range into his already busy schedule. He managed maybe twice a month, but his parents kept chiding him, telling him to take this serious. _Your soulmate is counting on you_.

Ryan enjoys the sciences. They have a project week and much to his parents’ disapproval he picks theatre over survival camp. He loves the drama, the acting, he’s really into it. He wants to go to college, study English or maybe go for a theatre major. He yearns with all his heart to be able to…

He’s not allowed. Instead, his parents sign him up for military service.

He serves for four years before he snaps. He’s fit, he’s good, and he fucking hates it. Hates his life and resents the soulmark that forced this fate on him. He’s half-convinced he’ll shoot his soulmate on sight when they meet. In the darkest corners of his mind, _he_ wants to be the threat his soulmate runs from. Ruin his life like they ruined his.

He becomes Death, a mercenary, an assassin. He becomes a traveller, homeless, restless. A vagabond with a black skull mask.

Ryan starts feeling lonely though, after the rage starts simmering down. He never really got to have much friends - he tried getting along with the other kids at his enforced activities, but his schedule was too busy to meet them in any downtime, never really getting to know them and they drifted apart too easily once he moved on. He wants… companionship.

So when Ramsey offers him a place on the crew, _trial basis_ of course, he can’t say yes fast enough.

He’s heard of the Fakes. They’re making a name for themselves in this godforsaken city, and he can genuinely say he enjoys stories of their antics. Maybe he has finally found a place to settle, somewhere to call home. Somewhere to forget his past and move on. But then the elevator door opens onto a open-plan penthouse and-

“Help! Save me!” a voice squawks in a weird accent, and there’s hands on his jacket as someone hides behind him.

“Fuck you, Gavin, come back here, you coward!” another member yells, stopping short in front of Vagabond with wary eyes. “…hi.”

Ryan says nothing, staring down mutely at the man. At his side, Ramsey sighs.

“I don’t want to know,” he states firmly, and the bundle hiding behind him squirms.

“Geoffrey! Tell Michael to stop tickling me!”

“I _don’t_ want to _know_ ,” he repeats exasperatedly, moving past them and towards the bar.

“Ha! Stop being a bitch, Gavvy, and accept defeat like a man!” the other man crows in victory, but Ryan can barely hear him.

Tickle fight. A fucking _tickle fight_.

His chest feels tight, overwhelmed with emotion. He can’t even say if he’s more angry or relieved as he turns around to the blond- Gavin- _his soulmate_.

“I hate you,” he pronounces, shrugging him off and stalking after Ramsey. He ignores the eyes glued to his back.

All his _fucking_ life for a _goddamn_ tickle fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read here on [tumblr.](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/162523702912/about-the-help-save-me-soulmates-au-ryan)


	35. Freewood - Soulmate II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous chapter.

The point to those first words are, they’re _engraved on Gavin’s skin_.

Ryan is mad because his whole life, people have been pushing him into something he didn’t want to be until he broke, because of those stupid first words his soulmate ever says to him. He starts blaming the soulmark that started it all and by association, the soulmate who will say them to him. He’s pissed and relieved and he doesn’t think when he says “I hate you”, too overcome with feelings.

He doesn’t stop to think that those will be the words Gavin grew up with.

Gavin grew up knowing himself to be unloveable. It has to be true, doesn’t it? His parents couldn’t care less about him, always too busy, always absent. And there it is, written on his very own skin: proof that even his soulmate will never love him, either. Gavin’s alone in this world.

It starts with makeup to cover up the mark, something that is a social tabboo - you’re not supposed to deny your soulmate, but happily work forwards to meeting them. Gavin doesn’t care. He starts wearing makeup to hide the words, and then starts putting on more to draw people’s eyes away from them where they curl around his throat, as if Fate is about to strangle him.

_I hate you. I hate you. I hate you._

The moment he can, he leaves everything in England behind, hoping to escape ever meeting his soulmate - statistics have proven it’s more than likely that your soulmate is from the same region as you, apparently, or how else did anyone in history ever find there’s before planes and world travel were invented? It’s a warped view of history and not true, of course, but Gavin clings to that hope with all his might.

Maybe, if he never meets his soulmate and has to be confronted with reality, maybe he can trick himself and others into loving him.

And thus the Golden Boy was born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read here on [tumblr.](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/162546703266/about-the-help-save-me-soulmates-au-ryan)


	36. Jack & Ryan - Tunnel Vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick thought on Jack's characterisation

Jack has this really bad habit of getting tunnel vision when he’s passionate about a project. It works great normally, because once he’s decided to do something, by God will he do it right. He plans and prepares and he works and works to the point of exhaustion to set everything up properly.

It becomes a problem. Not the exhaustion - though that too is something the crew is still trying to figure out how to deal with - but the bullheadedness.

There’s this job they’re going to pull, and it’s been Jack’s pet project for months now. It was just a throwaway joke between Geoff and Gavin, but Jack grabbed it with both hands and dug his heels in. And now he’s butting heads with the Vagabond because Fuck You _we can pull this off_ if everyone just does as they’re supposed to, BACK OFF-

Ryan is fucking frustrated because _Jack aren’t you listening_ and he doesn’t get why his _perfectly logical, thank you_ arguments do nothing to sway the other man.

But Jack worked hard for this, has been working on this for MONTHS on end and he’s gonna see it through. _They can do this._

Ryan stares at the bearded man, throws up his hands in surrender and then points at him, going _mark my words this is doomed to fail._

 _Well, fuck you too!_ Jack shouts after him, and then the door to his office slams shut.

The rest of the crew tip toe around both of them for an entire week, not daring to set either of them off. Ryan goes to Geoff and says _stop him_ , but one glare from Jack gets Geoff rambling about how of course he’s supporting him, has he ever been anything less than supportive? If Jack says we can do this, we can! Right?

It ends in a stalemate, where Ryan steadfastly refuses to have any part of the job, until Jack grits his teeth and spits _fuck you, we can do this without you_.

(Things go wrong pretty much immediately, considering how high-strung everyone is from the tension, but Ryan joins them in the middle of the job complaining loudly and somehow, they manage to pull it off anyway.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read it here on [tumblr](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/165526814237/funfahcts-jack-has-this-really-bad-habit-of).


	37. Jeremwood - Demon AU I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on [Selling Souls and Winning Hearts by Waffle-o](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12760101/chapters/29109975).
> 
> Premise: human!Jeremy trades sexual favours for demon!Ryan to magically fix stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missy: ryan 'accidentally' scratching up jeremy's furniture as a marking territory thing and then claiming he's just giving jeremy more reasons to make more deals
> 
> TJ: The absolute little _shit_ , he _would_. Scratches up his desk and _what, you want that fixed for free?_ and half the time Jeremy agrees to a deal, sure, because then he tease the _fuck_ out of Ryan and punish him but just not letting him come and Ryan starts wonder if this plan backfired on him.

“Ryan.”

“Hm?” the demon hums, tail flicking lazily as he stretches across the couch. His shirt rides up to reveal his happy trail, and Jeremy’s eyes are drawn almost against his will toward his pants. With a strangled sound, he tears his gaze away and glares at the smug demon.

“What did you do to my kitchen?” Jeremy growls, and if Ryan’s tail twitches in interest, then. Well. Ryan’s spending too much time in his house unglamoured. Jeremy’s not sure when he started reading Ryan’s moods in his demon form, but the tail is a dead giveaway.

“What do you want me to do to your kitchen?” Ryan purrs, spreading his legs invitingly. Jeremy stubbornly. does. not. look. down.

“Get rid of the scratches!” He narrowed his eyes at Ryan. That was definitely a self-satisfied tail-flick. “And the dents for that matter. Jesus H, how do you manage to bust up the fridge that badly?”

“Tut tut, Jeremy. You know that’s not how this works.” Ryan sits up, snagging Jeremy by the belt loops and pulling him closer, his hot mouth hovering over Jeremy’s stirring dick. The traitor. “Whatcha gonna trade me, loverboy?”

“Me not kicking your ass for fucking up my kitchen that’s what,” Jeremy grumbles, folding his arms across his chest. “What the fuck, Ryan.”

That’s definitely not a pout. No way.

“You told me to make myself at home,” Ryan explains slowly, bottom lip sticking out in _nope_ -not-a-pout. “So I did.”

“By wreaking my furniture?” Jeremy demands in askance, but his hand drops on Ryan’s head. Slow, firm circles around the base of his horns make Ryan purr, head pressing into Jeremy’s stomach. “Sometimes, I just don’t get you.”

Ryan hums absently, butting Jeremy’s stomach as he pauses in his ministrations.

“Kitchen first,” he says sternly, and Ryan sighs, snapping his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/167919201816/ryan-accidentally-scratching-up-jeremys)


	38. Jeremwood - Demon AU II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on [Selling Souls and Winning Hearts by Waffle-o](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12760101/chapters/29109975).
> 
> Premise: human!Jeremy trades sexual favours for demon!Ryan to magically fix stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shade: important part of demon au that i don't know if its been addressed in it or not: teeth. how sharp does demon boy got them and does jeremy like all the little marks that they can leave (inspired from that amazing art from jrmwds you reblogged)
> 
> TJ: God I adore that art I adore all the fangs he gives them.  
> And I actually wasn’t, uh, imagining any particularly sharp teeth for demon Ryan? Which, odd, I know, but I just kind of…forgot that teeth is a monster trait I could totally have done. So he’s got normal human teeth in the canon but you guys can go wild with whatever. He’s still a bitey little bastard that leaves hickeys all over Jeremy just because he _can_.   
>  BUT Jeremy totally likes the marks…when they’re left at the beginning of the night, not when Ryan leaves him to go in! public! with hickeys! up! his! entire! throat! like! the! whore! of! Babylon! (”Eh, she wasn’t that whorish,” Ryan tells him.)   
> Also Jeremy would totally return the fucking favour except Ryan’s a demon. Which means. He _heals_. The _fucker_.  
>  (In short, yes, Jeremy likes the bites but Ryan likes to leave them at the most inconvenient times in the most inconvenient places.)

“Look, we’ve been over this,” Jeremy complains as he checks his throat in the mirror. There’s not a single spot bigger than a penny free of bitemarks, up and down his neck and even most of his left shoulder. “I can’t show up to work like this.”

“I like marking my territory,” Ryan returns nonchalantly, buffing his nails against his shirt, tail flicking slow, lazy circles. Content, even if he tries to effuse an air of disinterest. “How else are those mortals you call colleagues supposed to know you’re taken?”

“By, I don’t know, crazy idea, just throwing this out there, maybe by _listening to me_ talk about my boyfriend?” Jeremy drops his hand with a sigh, resigned to his fate as he catches Ryan’s glowing eyes in the mirror. “Or you could try trusting me to fend off unwanted suitors.”

“I don’t know why you’re complaining,” Ryan rumbles, wrapping his arms around Jeremy’s waist and nuzzling his mark-free shoulder. “You like them.”

Jeremy flushes, the red spreading down over his bare chest. “Not when I have to go out in public like this I don’t,” he mutters. Ryan rolls his eyes and snaps his fingers. Jeremy looks up, but nothing appears to have changed. “Ryan?”

“There. No one but us can see them now.” Jeremy shoots the demon a skeptic look. “I’m not gonna stop something we both enjoy. But if you don’t wanna show off to your fellow humans… fine.”

Jeremy smiles, something soft and giddy to it as he turns to kiss his boyfriend.

And if the glamour doesn’t hide the marks from demonic eyes… well, Jeremy is none the wiser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here on [tumblr](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/167962662726/important-part-of-demon-au-that-i-dont-know-if)


	39. Mavin - Hibernation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bear hybrid!Michael ideas inspired by [this post](http://funfahcts.tumblr.com/post/168864435306/t-b-h-im-v-surprised-that-most-hybrid-aus-dont)

Michael hates the winter.

It’s why he lives in Los Santos, where it’s hot and maybe foggy during the coldest months. They might get a little bit of snow up in Chiliad, but that’s easily avoided. The others haven’t noticed yet, not really. They attribute his grumpy attitude to not being in the proper christmas cheer and (other than Gavin) have taken to leaving him alone.

But maybe it’s not quite apprpropriate to say that Michael hates the winter. He hates the _cold_.

And now it’s fucking snowing for the first time in sixty years and Michael is bundled up under five blankets and two duvets in his room, not to be disturbed on _the pain of death_.

Except, it seems, Gavin didn’t get the memo.

“Micool,” he coos as he drops down on the pile of blankets and partially on top of Michael. He grunts, not deigning to answer. It’s warm in his room, the heater turned to the max. Gavin frowns and plucks at his blankets. “C’mon Micoo, stop being lazy. You’ve been avoiding me all weekend.”

“Shuddup,” Michael mutters into the pillow, keeping his eyes firmly shut.

“But Micool,” Gavin whines, “it’s snowing! I haven’t seen snow since I’ve come out here!”

That, Michael thinks, doesn’t even deserve a reply. He burrows deeper into the blankets, snatching the top one out of Gavin’s hands and pulling it over his head. Finally, surrounded by darkness and warmth and calm, he sighs.

If only Gavin could take a hint.

His boi is quiet for a while, waiting for a reaction perhaps. But when Michael fails to deliver, he sighs dramatically and flops on top of the stack of blankets, wiggling around until his bony knees are pressing into Michael’s back. Michael growls a faint warning, but Gavin either doesn’t hear or ignores him.

“You’re a right lazy bastard,” Gavin complains, sniffing. Then he paused. “Aren’t you hot under there? Bloody hell, you’re gonna die of heatstroke under this many blankets!”

“Better than the damn cold,” Michael grumbles to himself, but apparently, Gavin’s ears are good enough to pick _that_ up. There’s a pause and then the blankets are pulled away from his head. Michael snarls tiredly, one eye opening a slit to glare at Gavin.

“Micool,” he says, and he doesn’t have to sound so damn delighted. “Are you hibernating, Micool?”

“Piss off, Gav,” he groans instead of answering, and there’s a delighted titter coming from above him. Michael sighs and burries his face in the pillow, hoping the nuisance will just go away already.

Surprisingly, he does, even closing the door behind him. Michael’s somewhat grateful even in his annoyance because there was a cold draft coming into his room that was _not_ acceptable.

He dozes off, and when he wakes back up, it’s to mostly empty boxes of cookies strewn all around him. Michael grabs a chocolate one and falls back asleep halfway through munching on it. When he finally leaves his room it’s to a lot of hibernation jokes and friendly teasing, but they do leave him alone when he hides in his room after complaining over the cold. He could swear someone even starts turning the heater up in the main room.


	40. Geoff - Werewolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff knows there's a werewolf in his crew - but who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on [these](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/171463967547/vagrantblvrd-replied-to-your-photoset) [posts](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/post/171464757382/vagrantblvrd-replied-to-your-post). Shout-out to @vagrantblvrd for the inspiration! Go check out her stories [here](archiveofourown.org/users/Vagrant_Blvrd/pseuds/Vagrant_Blvrd), they're amazing.

Geoff was manning the grill. It was all part of his evil masterplan. Invite the crew to a chill evening with barbecue to finally, once and for all, solve that most important of all mysteries.

“So how do you all like your steaks?” he called out over his shoulder, busying himself with the embers.

“Rare!” Jeremy informed him from where he’s lounging on one of the lawn chairs. Triumph flashes through Geoff’s eyes.

“Little J, why,” Gavin protested, and Geoff internally crossed his name off the list.

“I prefer rare, too,” Michael yelled through the kitchen window, where he put the salads and bread into their respective bowls. “Nothing beats rare, to be honest.”

Jack hummed, and Geoff frowned. That still left him with two suspects. He tuned out the crew’s banter as he put the first steaks on the grill, the initial sizzling drowning out their noises until they faded into the background.

The thing was, Geoff was utterly certain that one of his crew was secretly a werewolf. He had evidence! Hidden dog treats and a half-chewed bone he stumbled over one night, a brush full of dark hair, but maybe most importantly: the shedded fur on his suits. _All_ of them.

He’d be almost flattered. Werewolves were known to be quite territorial, and to be marked as someone trusted was an honor - if it weren’t just his best suits. They were expensive as dicks, and whoever was putting their mangy fur all over it would have to pay for the dry cleaning!

“It’d probably be easiest to just cook them all rare, and anyone who wants theirs more done can leave it on the grill for longer,” Ryan’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah,” Geoff agreed absently, flipping the steaks over.

“Are they done yet, Geoffrey?” Gavin piped up, sneaking up on him. Geoff jumped a foot in the air.

“No, they’re not, asshole!” he yelped, brandishing the tongs in Gavin’s face.

“I don’t know,” Trevor said in a reasonable tone. “They do look quite tasty already.”

“Smells heavenly, too, Boss,” Matt agreed.

Geoff looked up, startled to find himself surrounded by the entire crew, craning their necks to check on the grill.

“Alright, assholes, back off! I need some space here.” He prodded one of the steaks and grimaced. More raw than rare at this point, really. Maybe he needed to add Trevor’s name to the list? Though _his_ suits were always impeccable…


End file.
